So let me start out by saying, this blog post is not to stress you out or freak you out enough to make you run to hire a wedding planner. That’s not my goal. My goal is to make your wedding photos kick butt. And kick butt wedding photos occur when a couple is happy. Not stressed. And I have found the easiest way for a couple to not stress out? Have a planner. Or a Captain of the Day.

Whether you hire a planner or not you NEED (did I mention need?) to have one person in charge the day of your wedding- the go to person. If the couple doesn’t have a planner, I talk to them about the “Captain of the Day”. This person is in charge of coordinating your vendors and basically keeping on schedule. Make sure this person 1. wants the responsibility 2. you won’t be upset if they majorly mess up 3. is a type A personality that will focus more on your wedding going smoothly then anything else during the day.

Whether you have a planner, a community of friends that help out with a leader, a best friend who is Captain of the Day, a cocoon of willing and able family members, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you focus that day on the amazing commitment you are making.

Why do I insist that couples hire a planner or find a Captain of the Day?

Things go wrong. Not every wedding has an issue someone needs to deal with and most weddings won’t have a disaster. But little things add up very very quickly. Having one person everyone can go to that is not the couple (um, aren’t you supposed to be enjoying this day?) is gold. And if you have a planner, your planner will do things you never even thought of.

I had a day of coordinator for my wedding and while I’m sure there were things she did I will never know, she did 2 things that made me thank my lucky stars I hired her. First, my grandmother ended up in the hospital a week before my wedding and we found out her breast cancer had come back. She got out of the hospital one day before my wedding, she was weak and on oxygen. My planner knew this and brought a huuuge comfy wingback chair for her to sit in during the ceremony. I almost cried when I saw her sitting there, too weak to walk down the aisle but enjoying the ceremony none the less, sitting comfortably in her big chair instead of the plastic ones we rented. The second thing? Oh ya…she sewed my wedding dress together when the train ripped out. As I was talking to my friends she just whipped out her sewing kit and in 2 minutes, I was off again.

You hired a lot of people who have never met each other. The caterer, your florist, your venue, your music, your officiant, me….all these people are there to put their little bit into your wedding day. But most likely, they all haven’t met. They probably don’t know what the other vendor has planned. They have no idea how their little bit is supposed to interact with everyone else’s little bit. A captain or planner knows everyone and the big picture.

Schedule. What gets cut first if things are running behind? I know I know! Picture time. So obviously, I’m a fan of realistic timelines and staying mostly on schedule. I’m not talking a timeline of “And this is what I will be doing every 5 minutes”. But a timeline that allows everyone to enjoy themselves and allocate time to important things.

Stress. You don’t need it. Knowing that someone else is taking care of all the details. It’s priceless.

I was so excited that the Washington Post contacted me about learning about women who wear suits for their wedding day! Today the article ran and they mentioned So You’re EnGAYged (the same-sex and allied wedding blog I run with Lara Swanson). Specifically, the mentioned the suit fitting for Lauren I photographed at Dash’s last spring:

Up until a few years ago, Victor Dash, the owner of Dash’s formalwear in Alexandria, had never had a woman come in for a suit. Now he estimates that he sees one every month or so. “The first one that called asked if I could make her a suit, and I told her I’d never made women’s clothes,” says Dash, who assumed that the customer wanted him to make her a Hillary Clinton-esque pantsuit. “She said, ‘Well, I’m not looking for women’s clothes.’ So then I said, ‘Well, in that case, I’ve done this thousands of times.’ ”

Part of the uptick in Dash’s female clientele might be due to a rave review he received on So You’re EnGAYged, a blog dedicated to same-sex couples planning their weddings. A few months ago, one local woman went to his shop, then wrote about the excursion on the blog. In pictures, she wears a black suit with subtle crimson pinstripes.

As all brides to be, she looks radiant. And handsome.

Want to read the whole Washington Post Article: Go here. Or read the article I wrote on So You’re EnGAYged about the suit fitting.

Almost everyone I talk to wants at least a few group shots of their family and attendants. Typically, the list goes:

• Couple and one side of the family
• Couple and other side of the family
• Couple and Partner A’s Parents
• Couples and Partner B’s Parents
• Couple and attendants

Want to add more photos to the list? Sure! Just add an extra 3-4 minutes per photo. So the list right above would take 15 minutes minimum. If your going to take group images after the ceremony, tack on at least an extra 10 minutes. Why? Because rounding people up after a ceremony takes a lot of time. I encourage all couples to do groups shots before the ceremony- it avoids so many headaches(I’m begging people). And you don’t miss your cocktail hour. So if you were *just* doing the list above after the ceremony, your already at 25 minutes.

It’s very important you make a list of group shots you want well ahead of time and talk with your photographer about it. Also, share the list (after you finalize it with your photographer) with all the people who will be in the group shots. This allows everyone to know how many shots they are in and know the order of the shots so people move in and out of the shots quicker.

Most of my couples want to break away from the “Stand in front of a wall and smile!” look of most group photos. Getting creative for group shots can be fun and produce amazing results. If you want some more creative shots, tell me!! Typically, we will go to several locations and get anywhere from 3-5 groupings of people in a half hour. The more people in the shot, the more time each shot will take to set up.

Seeing each other before the ceremony has so many amazing benefits and about 95% of my clients end up going this route. Why? First look shots, destressing, quicker portraits, and enjoying getting ready together.

First look shots. Traditionally, if you see each other at the ceremony and only have one photographer, the photographer has to choose between getting one partner walking down the aisle or the other partner seeing him/her for the first time. It sucks. Seeing each other ahead of time allows the photographer to set up a romantic and stunning photo opportunity that’s packed with emotions. You get photos of the first glance- and believe me, it’s always amazing. It also gives you the opportunity to hug and kiss and really tell each other “Damn, you look hot!”

De-stressing. You have supported each other through months of wedding planning. So obviously, you have helped each other through big periods of stress. Often, the morning of the wedding, one partner or both is anxious. This is a big day! But without fail, when that partner sees the other person for the first time, the stress melts away. Completely. A hug is all that’s needed to quiet the craziness leading up to this moment. It’s sweet and always works.

Quicker Portraits. So regardless of how long your group shot list is (which is another tip I’ll be giving), you can guarantee that portraits will go quicker if done before the ceremony. And since you both have already seen each other, we can knock out all the group shots ahead of time. Why does it go quicker? How much time will you save? It goes much faster because once everyone arrives for the ceremony, your friends/family members will undoubtably want to talk to the Aunt or Second Cousin they haven’t seen in a year. This means it’s MUCH harder to find all the family members- meaning your portrait time? It’s going to double. It also means for a lot of wandering eyes because family members are watching what’s going on without them- the cocktail party they are missing.

Getting Ready Together. I’m partial to getting ready together. Why? I got ready with my wife the day of our wedding. I couldn’t imagine spending 1 minute without her on the day we were getting married. And I have found a good chunk of my clients feel the same way! Getting ready together means sharing all the little moments as a couple. Helping each other get dressed. Laughing that you need your mom to put your shoes on. Holding hands as you realize that today, you are getting married.

I was making a small booklet for my clients to handout with my top 10 tips for better wedding photos when I realized- d’uh, everyone wants better wedding photos! So why not blog it?

One of the first vendors a couples picks is their venue. Of course that’s super super important. But another location often gets overlooked and is super important as well- your getting-ready location.Where you’re getting ready matters- a LOT. Think about it. Not only will this location be where your getting-ready shots are, it’s also going to be the place where a ton of photos you never thought of will take place. Dress/Suit shots, ring shots, flower shots, cufflink shots, and other detail shots will most likely be shot here. Super close-ups of the bride(s)/groom(s) will take place here. Most likely your attendant shots will take place here. The shot list is adding up!

Light is the most important factor in your getting-ready location. Pick a hotel with giant windows. Get ready in the room of your house where light streams in. Lots of natural light is key to good getting-ready shots. Giant blackout curtains you can’t move, overuse of artificial light to brighten the space, and walking into the room and having to wait till your eyes adjust to the dark are things you want to avoid. Remember, our eyes adjust to light levels but the camera does not. If you even pause to think if the room is bright enough, most likely, it isn’t.

Space is also important. If you think you and 6 attendants can fit in a regular size hotel room, you are going to hate life shortly. Thinking about who you want in your getting ready room and making a list ahead of time avoids the too-tight-to-breathe-or-photograph-anything problem. Send an email to those close to you about who is invited into the room so you can rent a room big enough for everyone. Not only will this create a more relaxed day since no one is bumping into each other constantly, but it allows your photographer the room to move around and get great pictures. That’s what you wanted, right?

Decor. Everything in the getting ready room will most likely appear in your photographs. Those tacky figurines you keep meaning to give away and hate? Yup, if they are in the room, they will be in your photographs. Did the furniture in the hotel room blow you away? Great! Because your photographer will most likely be using the chairs for detail shots, the doors for dress shots, the bed for shoe shots and all kinds of combinations. So you want to love what’s in the room style-wise.

Cleanliness. I already said all the stuff in the getting ready room will appear in your photographs- that goes for all the crap too. The 5 purses, plastic bags, spare shoes, jackets, clothes, water bottles….it’s all there. So when you are emailing your loved ones about who will be in the room with you while you get ready- ask them to keep it clean in the room too. Designate a closet to keep all the extra stuff in so we can close the door and keep the stuff out of the photographs. Counters/chairs/beds all attract random stuff so ask someone to be in charge of keeping the room clean.