So let me start out by saying, this blog post is not to stress you out or freak you out enough to make you run to hire a wedding planner. That’s not my goal. My goal is to make your wedding photos kick butt. And kick butt wedding photos occur when a couple is happy. Not stressed. And I have found the easiest way for a couple to not stress out? Have a planner. Or a Captain of the Day.

Whether you hire a planner or not you NEED (did I mention need?) to have one person in charge the day of your wedding- the go to person. If the couple doesn’t have a planner, I talk to them about the “Captain of the Day”. This person is in charge of coordinating your vendors and basically keeping on schedule. Make sure this person 1. wants the responsibility 2. you won’t be upset if they majorly mess up 3. is a type A personality that will focus more on your wedding going smoothly then anything else during the day.

Whether you have a planner, a community of friends that help out with a leader, a best friend who is Captain of the Day, a cocoon of willing and able family members, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you focus that day on the amazing commitment you are making.

Why do I insist that couples hire a planner or find a Captain of the Day?

Things go wrong. Not every wedding has an issue someone needs to deal with and most weddings won’t have a disaster. But little things add up very very quickly. Having one person everyone can go to that is not the couple (um, aren’t you supposed to be enjoying this day?) is gold. And if you have a planner, your planner will do things you never even thought of.

I had a day of coordinator for my wedding and while I’m sure there were things she did I will never know, she did 2 things that made me thank my lucky stars I hired her. First, my grandmother ended up in the hospital a week before my wedding and we found out her breast cancer had come back. She got out of the hospital one day before my wedding, she was weak and on oxygen. My planner knew this and brought a huuuge comfy wingback chair for her to sit in during the ceremony. I almost cried when I saw her sitting there, too weak to walk down the aisle but enjoying the ceremony none the less, sitting comfortably in her big chair instead of the plastic ones we rented. The second thing? Oh ya…she sewed my wedding dress together when the train ripped out. As I was talking to my friends she just whipped out her sewing kit and in 2 minutes, I was off again.

You hired a lot of people who have never met each other. The caterer, your florist, your venue, your music, your officiant, me….all these people are there to put their little bit into your wedding day. But most likely, they all haven’t met. They probably don’t know what the other vendor has planned. They have no idea how their little bit is supposed to interact with everyone else’s little bit. A captain or planner knows everyone and the big picture.

Schedule. What gets cut first if things are running behind? I know I know! Picture time. So obviously, I’m a fan of realistic timelines and staying mostly on schedule. I’m not talking a timeline of “And this is what I will be doing every 5 minutes”. But a timeline that allows everyone to enjoy themselves and allocate time to important things.

Stress. You don’t need it. Knowing that someone else is taking care of all the details. It’s priceless.

I was so excited that the Washington Post contacted me about learning about women who wear suits for their wedding day! Today the article ran and they mentioned So You’re EnGAYged (the same-sex and allied wedding blog I run with Lara Swanson). Specifically, the mentioned the suit fitting for Lauren I photographed at Dash’s last spring:

Up until a few years ago, Victor Dash, the owner of Dash’s formalwear in Alexandria, had never had a woman come in for a suit. Now he estimates that he sees one every month or so. “The first one that called asked if I could make her a suit, and I told her I’d never made women’s clothes,” says Dash, who assumed that the customer wanted him to make her a Hillary Clinton-esque pantsuit. “She said, ‘Well, I’m not looking for women’s clothes.’ So then I said, ‘Well, in that case, I’ve done this thousands of times.’ ”

Part of the uptick in Dash’s female clientele might be due to a rave review he received on So You’re EnGAYged, a blog dedicated to same-sex couples planning their weddings. A few months ago, one local woman went to his shop, then wrote about the excursion on the blog. In pictures, she wears a black suit with subtle crimson pinstripes.

As all brides to be, she looks radiant. And handsome.

Want to read the whole Washington Post Article: Go here. Or read the article I wrote on So You’re EnGAYged about the suit fitting.

Almost everyone I talk to wants at least a few group shots of their family and attendants. Typically, the list goes:

• Couple and one side of the family
• Couple and other side of the family
• Couple and Partner A’s Parents
• Couples and Partner B’s Parents
• Couple and attendants

Want to add more photos to the list? Sure! Just add an extra 3-4 minutes per photo. So the list right above would take 15 minutes minimum. If your going to take group images after the ceremony, tack on at least an extra 10 minutes. Why? Because rounding people up after a ceremony takes a lot of time. I encourage all couples to do groups shots before the ceremony- it avoids so many headaches(I’m begging people). And you don’t miss your cocktail hour. So if you were *just* doing the list above after the ceremony, your already at 25 minutes.

It’s very important you make a list of group shots you want well ahead of time and talk with your photographer about it. Also, share the list (after you finalize it with your photographer) with all the people who will be in the group shots. This allows everyone to know how many shots they are in and know the order of the shots so people move in and out of the shots quicker.

Most of my couples want to break away from the “Stand in front of a wall and smile!” look of most group photos. Getting creative for group shots can be fun and produce amazing results. If you want some more creative shots, tell me!! Typically, we will go to several locations and get anywhere from 3-5 groupings of people in a half hour. The more people in the shot, the more time each shot will take to set up.