Today, we’re going to skip what I have to say. Instead, Elana was sweet enough to share a bit about her own wedding:

If I could go back in time, and re-plan my wedding with the knowledge I have now, I would make sure to think through all of my decisions carefully, listen to my intuition, and not allow myself to feel pressured that a wedding has to be a certain way. I ended up stressing myself out because I would feel regretful or doubt myself after I made decisions. Now I recognize that the most important thing is having no regrets on your wedding day, which means staying true to yourself and ignoring all of the wedding industry static.

Something important I learned is that the choice of vendors really matters. Make sure you work with professionals that listen to you and are dependable, but also feel comfortable offering advice. Because I planned the wedding myself, my vendors were a crucial source of support. They helped me with everything from when to start getting ready, to where to place my chuppah, and how to walk down the aisle. And, on my wedding day, I was able to cruise in a bubble of happiness the whole day because I trusted my vendors and I knew everything would go just as planned.

Genna and I are pretty introverted, so we were a little nervous that we would get tired out during the cocktail hour and reception. In the end, and surprisingly, Genna and I were just so happy to be married and to see our friends and family, that the evening felt effortless. We both felt so supported and loved that any self-consciousness we may have felt vanished. The evening flew by because we were on “cloud-9″ for all of it!

The other positive surprise, for me, was just how beautiful everything turned out. As I said before, I planned the wedding myself, and so I really had no clue how it would come together. When I stepped out and saw how wonderfully everything looked, my breath was taken away and it felt like my past year of spending weekends and evening planning the wedding was totally worth it.

Date: 11.11 // Weather: Clear and cool // Number of guests: 83 // Favorite light time for shots: 3:25 // First look time: 3:00 //

Couple Shots: 3:00-3:40 // Ketubah Signing: 4:45 // Ceremony Start: 5:10 // Reception Started: 6:30

Venue Love: Easy indoor location for weddings that doesn’t look or feel like a hotel

Fun thing to think about: Making sure family traditions are highlighted that fit you well. Elana’s family changed the lyrics to Disney songs to roast the couple! It was hilarious and totally original. And most importantly, everyone couldn’t stop laughing and enjoying themselves.

Lesson learned: If you’re doing the Hora, talk to the venue about which chairs they use for the dance. Elana saw the bulky chairs they wanted to use and quickly asked for a switch.

Extra Help: The bridesmaids totally, completely kicked butt. They were focused on making the day smooth and not having Elana do anything other than enjoy the day. I loved them. They checked in with me if I needed anything and were totally game to do anything. Like hide behind curtains and hold Elana’s dress so I could get the loveliest dress shot. Ladies- you rock.

Best thing ever: Elana leading the wedding party in a guided meditation before putting on the dresses.

Venue: New Haven Lawn Club // DJ and lighting: Supersound Productions // Cake: Sugar Bakery and Sweet Shop // Hair: Jen from Jobella salon

Florist: Candi’s Floral Creations // Rabbi: Rabbi Michael Farbman of Temple Emanuel // Veil and shoes: Prevata, Bob Ellis Shoes // Dress: Jean’s Bridal, Alvina Valenta //

Ten years is a long time. But it doesn’t feel that way about some things. My father dying when I was 18 in a plan crash was an abrupt bookmark in my life. I thought about what my life would be like in 10 years soooo long ago. So today, I’m letting go of a lot of things I thought ‘should be’ with grief. I’m forcing myself to shake off expectations I had and let those thoughts die. Because another 10 years is too long to hold my breath.

So I’m letting go of the idea that a memorial has to be one thing. Because it’s only me, I kept struggling with what does one person do as a memorial? And then it hit me. This doesn’t have to be a depressing day. This can and WILL be a joyous one. So I planned “the perfect day for my dad if he was alive” day. Chock full of stuff he would get a kick out of. And researching it, I started laughing too. Did anyone ever play Master of Orion? OMG, blood was shed over who got to play the game when my dad finally got off the computer. He played it at dinner. In bed. It sat on his chest when he finally fell asleep. So I researched if I could play it again (if anyone knows how, please please please email me) and realized it was released in 1993. I looked at screenshots and just felt so damn giddy. I started remembering my dad teaching me to play it. And then I knew I was on the right track.

So today I will:

• Have amazing gluten free pancakes with whip cream and strawberries. My dad made them for my brother and I every Sunday when we had visitation. I loved that over used waffle maker. My waffles became giant towers of whip cream. Plus mimosas, a favorite of my dad.
• The first books my dad ever gave me were the Lord of the Rings. I never read them because I got hooked on other scifi books he gave me but I’m starting the series today. I’m 20 years late, but who the hell cares?
• My dad was an adrenaline junkie. He did things that even as a kid I would yell in terror at him for. All the boys in the family have it. My brother races cars. Seriously. I didn’t get that gene but I’m going to be doing something way outside my comfort zone. Natalie is planning this part so I can’t chicken out.
• If I can get things working, I’ll be playing Orion. For hours. If not, Civilization was also just as addictive for him.
• My dad built his own company from our basement. So I’m going to give myself a little high-five for following him in that and work on my mission statement a bit. Where do I want to go?
• And lastly, old faithful Chinese food and a scifi movie. A staple of my childhood.

The one thing that cements the day as a memorial is the fact I’ll be saying prayers by a lovely lake that is a bit of a hike. Me, Natalie, our dog and all those Hebrew letters taking me through the traditions of thousands of years. And then we’ll happily hike back home, snuggle, and I’ll explain Star Trek to Natalie.

I want and should write a whole post about bridesmaids dresses. The pain. The suffering of pocketbooks for a dress no one ever wears again. Really. So when I heard that Shelby found a company that rents, yes rents, bridesmaids dresses, I internally freaked out. Maybe slightly externally. And they were so pretty- just scroll down and look at those photos. And scroll down some more and you’ll find the link at the bottom of the post with the link. Plus all those stats you guys love so much (like, a lot a lot…I’m getting so much email! Keep the suggestions coming by commenting below or emailing me!).

And may I present the best visual argument ever for taking a moment after your ceremony to just celebrate the two of you? And then pile on your wedding party for a hug.

Date: 9.22 // Weather: Very overcast yet buggy due to the lake // Favorite light time for shots (due to weather): 3:05 // First look time: 3:00 //

Ceremony Start: 4:10 // Couple Shots: 5:00 // Reception Started: 6:00

Venue: Ceremony was held by the lake and a last minute decision for a tent was made because it looked like rain. The reception was held in their open air space with tables making a circle around the dance floor.

Venue Love: Interlaken has a dock which is perfect for a first look or couple shots. // Fun thing to think about: Letting yourself really pause and enjoy a big hug from one another after the ceremony. Then get one from your loved ones too.

Lesson learned: There was no bathroom by the lake for the ceremony, which made it a bit of a last minute stressful situation for some guests and me.

Extra Help: See those amazing chemistry sets? Shelby’s dad made them all himself.

Best thing ever: Rentable bridesmaids dresses. Yes. BEST THING EVER.

Venue: Interlaken Inn // Florist: Country Gardeners Florist // DJ: 74 Events // Dress: Junko Yoshioka The Bridal Garden // Caterer: Interlaken Inn