One thing I have wanted to really strive for ever since I converted is honoring Shabbat. It’s basically a day of rest/reflection/time with family. I love the concept and have always been held up by one big thing: it’s Saturday. And most weddings are Saturday. And I really feel more than ever that being a photographer is what I’m supposed to do. My thought process went like this “Well, if I can’t do every Shabbat what’s the point? And it’s not like I don’t work 7 days a week so how would I make up the time? I would just be so behind and Saturdays are the big day people are available for shoots. And synagogue is 4 hours! Whyyy is it so looong? church was only 45 minutes, tops!”

But over the last few months, I have been making my few wedding-free Saturdays not available and trying to honor Shabbat. Of course, life has happened and I feel guilty for not working/feel behind and say ‘Screw it! It’s the middle of wedding season!’ But I have decided to make it my official policy to myself that I only schedule weddings on Saturdays. Nothing else. No classes. No shoots. Nothing business like.

Now, it’s going to be at least 2 months before I can test this theory as I have a wedding every Saturday until then (except this Saturday and I scheduled an engagement shoot a long time ago). But I think we all have the desire to slow down, to take a day off, to enjoy our family. And I feel like Shabbat gives me, as my own boss, structure and permission to take one day a week off. Because right now? That’s not happening.

So that’s my goal for the Jewish new year: I will not schedule anything except weddings on Saturday. And slowly, inch by inch, start to give myself permission to not work that whoooole day. No facebook. No twitter. No gmail. But yes to good books. And museum visits. And picnics with my wife. And yes- going to synagogue too (when I find the right one!).

So senior year in high school I met Natalie, my future wife. She went to the top private school in DC where the Obama girls go. All her friends talked about how they were going to Ivy League schools and stuff I had never heard of. I was intimidated as hell. No one I knew even considered applying to schools outside the VA public school system and here were girls who weren’t just going out of state- they were going to places like Yale or Harvard. I felt like vomiting every time one of them asked where I was going to college because I didn’t know.

But Natalie…she was the first person in my life who actually made me feel smart. She saw my strengths and nurtured them. She pushed me to get something I had never even heard of- learning disability testing. I started looking into it and one of the things you have to do is pour over your school records, teachers comments, etc. And there it was…popping up almost everywhere. “This student should be evaluated for learning disabilities.” It was like a punch in the gut. I had to get tested. And I did. I went in thinking I would 100% have a math disability-that’s it. I walked out learning so much about myself and for the first time was told I had several learning disabilities (math included) including ADHD.

WTH? How could I have ADHD? Isn’t that for hyperactive little boys? Do adults really have that? I started reading every single book I could get my hands on and it was like a knob was turned. I just kept crying reading these books. This is me I thought! Literally one book was called “So I’m not crazy, stupid or lazy” and I just felt this whole release. Because that’s what I always felt. Someone had actually said it and then wrote a whole book on it. I literally half-sobbed through the stories of other ADHD adults.

And that’s when my world turned. That one label empowered me to look at everything differently. I could accomplish the same goals, but I had permission to go about them differently. I knew doing things the same way everyone else did just wouldn’t work. Period. And that mind-set allowed me to crack open everything in my life. I don’t have to do it like everyone else. I can go to art school. I can have my own photo studio. I can get married to my wife even if it isn’t legal. Because I can’t go down that beaten path, the world is open.

Being diagnosed with ADHD was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It made me realize I couldn’t just be like everyone else. And that allowed me to be me. Everyone was nervous- even Natalie – when I started my photography studio. How would I cope with so much responsibility and only me to keep myself on track? But something happened: I loooove running a business. I love talking with my clients and helping them. I get a total high, no joke, from shooting a wedding. I hyperfocus and will edit for hours, totally forgetting to eat. The fact I make weird noises and get so excited while I’m shooting I can’t help but do a little dance or tell the couple how awesome they look is actually an asset. Who knew my inability to put a cap on my excitement (aka make sound effects very very often when posing people; it actually gets people pumped and laughing) would be a big strength?

• In the middle of the wedding season and am trying to keep up.
• Buying my first new sofa, ever ever. And trying not to freak out. We are buying a Crate&Barrel “The Nines” sofa in apartment sofa size
• Happy that all my pets are healthy
• Wanting to finally paint my studio/office pink!
• Thinking about Rosh Hashanah and really wanting to have people over
• Enjoying having all my windows open to the cool night air. And watching the cats go crazy as they survey the New Haven nightscape.

Natalie and I went on a vacation to Maine in late July and I enjoyed it. Which is a miracle because usually after 2 days on vacation I’m thinking “Omg…my inbox is probably full. When I get back it’s going to take hours and hours to do. I have soooo much editing to do…agghhh…I hate vacation, it’s putting me so behind!” In fact, I was so calm and ignoring my emails/work so much Natalie got a little nervous. She kept asking me if it was ok I wasn’t working 2-3 hours a day on my vacation- cause that’s what I normally do. But I’m trying really hard to be able to relax and experience things more. Which is why I only took my camera with me on 1 out of 7 days we spent in Maine.

Mostly we read on the beach as that’s my top favorite thing to do on vacation. We went whale watching and saw giiiiiant fin whales (the second largest whale…freakin huge). We ate lots and lots of gluten free seafood. I fell in love with a small town in New Hampshire called Portsmouth. But mostly, Natalie and I enjoyed being together with no obligations.

First up: Asbury Park NJ Wedding of Sarah and Nicole. You haven’t even seen the ocean couple shots yet!

Next is a New Canaan, CT wedding. Lots of amazing cultural traditions mixed together.

And lastly, a sneak peak of Yarrow and Jen’s wedding at the Hubble Homestead in Vermont. Yes- this is the carnival wedding.

So Natalie and I just went up to VT to do a carnival theme wedding. Natalie and I had discussed how I was going to capture the brides on the swing carnival ride best. My first thought, “Uh…go up with them and ride the thing!”. A guest overheard this and quickly said “Oh no, that’s not possible. You can’t take photos doing that! It’s not doable.”

Fast forward an hour to when the ride was opening. I saw the brides get on the ride out the corner of my eye (I was doing cake shots) and ran to get on. Natalie was busy moving some equipment from me and didn’t even see me go. That’s when she heard “Holy sh*t, is that the photographer on the swing?? Is she taking photos??” Cue Natalie to turn around, realize I’m on the swing taking photos. So she grabs my third camera and takes a few photos of me on the swing with all my camera gear.

I’ll admit that I was semi nervous. Me, in a carnival ride, swinging around, high above the ground, with all my equipment. But that thought lasted a moment because I knew I wanted the shot. Did I mention I’m terrified of heights? And get motion sick really easily? I got off the ride pretty wobbly and in my rush to get on the ride had basically spotted a guest watching and said “Hey, could-you-hold-my-second-camera-k-thanks-bye” and ran onto the ride. As I got off, I went to fetch my camera and thank the guest and the first thing out of her mouth was “Wow, that was badass.” Looking at the photos of me on the swing I look more ‘Uhhh…crap. I’m doing this.” than badass. But I’ll take it.

A photo from Lauren’s suit fitting was featured on AOL’s Aisle Dash article on trends in same-sex weddings.

And I got to go as Press to the Illegal Wedding Fair in NYC for So You’re EnGAYged.

Aaaaannnd on a fun personal note, my dining table came in!! Remember my debate? Well we picked the CB2 dining table and even got chairs at target for $35 a pop (after struggling to find chairs I could endure sitting in for less than $100 we totally found these by surprise). I’m not going to show you the whole shebang until it’s done because the table actually comes unfinished. So I’m off to Home Depot today to get Tung Oil and beeswax to seal it. But…I loved the raw look of the wood and used it as a background for shots of my new album I’m offering. The new linen album looks hoooot if I do say so on the wood.

See the grain? I just love it!! And it’s going to be even better when it’s sealed as it gives in a deeper, richer color; more in line with what it looks like in the catalog.

So here’s my goal for 2011: To bike with him in the next race. Not the 100 mile race- I might actually die. But I’m going to push for the 50 mile one. One year. 50 mile race. I love that DJ’s so passionate about something like biking and I really want to share this with him. But to do that, I have a lot of work ahead of me. So next time you see me, ask me how the 50 mile bike race is coming.

But HOLD UP. I’m still taking Rock the Dress/Suit, Engagement, and Civil Ceremony bookings for 2010. So if you’re interested in one of those shoots, let me know.

So yeah. I’m a serious businesswoman now. You can see how very very serious I am from the picture below.

Me and Lara (the other founder of So You’re EnGAYged) at the B-List

So I got home from the wedding Monday afternoon, tried to crank out a few images from this weekends wedding to show the couple, spent all of Tuesday hand editing images so I could get the couple’s slideshow together for the reception in Hawaii this weekend. Today was spent frantically finishing another clients slideshow, emailing clients with upcoming weddings, putting together a wedding prep list, and now I’m about to pack for the conference. Tomorrow I will geek it out along with a bunch of other photographers at a video workshop for photographers. Then Friday I drive down to DC at the crack of dawn (literally) and have cocktails with a bijillion wedding vendors and finally get to meet all the other B List top wedding bloggers. Then Saturday is a full day spent with all the other bloggers talking about everything blog related! Yummy dinner to follow with fellow bloggers that night. Sunday I get to watch a demonstration in the morning, say goodbye to all the bloggers, get all ready for an engagement shoot/shoot the Georgetown engagement and promptly fall asleep Sunday night so I can wake up at 5am to drive back to New Haven.

Honestly, I’m hoping adrenaline can last till next Monday because I know I won’t be running on sleep.