1. Sunscreen. I can hear the groan of ‘D’uuuuuuuuuh Kelly! Of course!!’. But of all the summer weddings I have photographed, I have maybe witnessed one or two couples put on sunscreen. They may have a cute basket of mini samples for their guests. But when it comes to themselves- it’s forgotten. You should be putting sunscreen anywhere the sun will hit you. Your face. Chest. Back. Feet. Whatever. And while you’re at it, go with a sunscreen like Alba Sport 45 Sunblock. It’s Leaping Bunny certified and I use it myself for weddings.
2. A water bottle. You most likely will have a bag to hold various things like your sunscreen, change of shoes, sunglasses, emergency kit, etc. So make sure you pack a nice water bottle in that bag as well. Maybe you already sport a Klean Kanteen bottle. So fill it up the night. That way you’ll have something to sip as you wait to walk/skip/dance down the aisle. Just like I said in regards to Bridesmaids- hydration is key to not passing out!
3. Anti-Bug Balm. I once was doing a wedding and didn’t know how badly the bride was allergic to bug bites. So…of course, she got bitten as she enjoyed her outdoor ceremony. And the rest of the wedding, she had half her face swollen and red. She totally forgot anti-bug balm!! So I now keep Badger Anti-Bug Balm with me. It’s not a spray so no worries about reapplying while in a tux, suit or dress. It’s easy to put on, smells really good for anti-bug stuff, and comes in a perfect little tin. Oh, it’s Leaping Bunny certified too. I used to be all about the most toxic stuff I could get because I get bitten sooooo much. But this stuff works.
4. Portable fan. If you are wearing a wedding dress with a crinoline or layers- you are going to get mighty hot. Or if you plan on wearing a jacket with your suit, wheeeew. So a nice, battery powered, portable fan can help save the day when it gets so hot you feel like you are literally melting.
5. And if I haven’t drilled this into your head enough: oil blotting sheets!!

Maybe you’re over the hill with unicorns and baby dolphins about being a bridesmaid. Or maybe you would rather eat your own young. Either way, it’s a really weird position to be in. A lot is expected of you, but from behind the scenes. And it varies a lot exactly what is expected of you.

1. Talk ahead of time to the couple. Do they have a planner to help make things run smoothly? If not, is there a specific person you can go to with questions if vendors or guests are asking? You can even volunteer yourself as the go-to person if your super organized and ready for a day full of a lot of work.
2. When the wedding day actually comes, it’s time to get ready. If a hair and makeup person is coming to help everyone get ready, make your choice about if you want professional hair/makeup waaay before the actual day. And once you make that choice? There is no going back. The timeline has been set and while the makeup/hair person may offer to squeeze you in- there is no squeezing in. You are guaranteeing things will now run late. If you’re doing your own hair/makeup- keep an eye on the time. I know it’s super exciting to see all your friends. It really is! But you need to be ready at least 10 minutes prior to the bride(s)/groom(s) getting into their wedding gear so you can help. There is something really amazing about a whole bridal brigade helping get the couple ready and the ‘omg-he/she-is-dressed-and-looks-awesome’ moment. That moment is what the bride or groom has been waiting for. They want to share that moment. They want the gasps or the crying. So don’t be late for them.
3. Now everyone is dressed. If the bride has a long veil or train, help a girl out. And not just for the first 15 minutes. Keep an eye on it the whole day. At the ceremony? Fluff the dress before the walk down the aisle. Is the veil messed up at the altar? Totally cool to step out from the line and help straighten it out.
4. Now that we are talking about the ceremony: HYDRATE. You should be drinking water all AM. Why? Because nothing is worse than a bridesmaid passing out. And I have seen it happen at 6+ weddings. Full-on, smash face, passout. It’s most common at summer weddings but I have seen it year round. Why does this happen? Your standing in one place for a very long time, sometimes outdoors, sweating, you most likely forgot to eat and you have been up since the crack of dawn for hair/makeup. That’s why bridesmaids pass out!!
5. When walking down the aisle, walk slowly and look up. Most processional pictures involve everyone looking at the ground as they walk up the aisle- not the most flattering of poses. So try to look up and walk slowly so you don’t trip.
6. While you’re standing there at the ceremony, all nice and hydrated, stand correctly. I don’t just mean remember to stand up straight (though, that helps) but remember to not lock your knees. Stand with a slight bend to your knees, back straight, shoulders back, and engage your core. This will help get you through the loooong ceremonies.
7. I know it’s a long ceremony. And a lot of times (as in, like 80%) you can’t see the ceremony. At all. It sucks. I have been a bridesmaid twice and didn’t see the ceremony either time. I hated that. But if you’re standing up there and you can’t see a thing? Pretend. For the love of cupcakes, pretend you can see that ceremony. Do not look up in the air to watch the passing birds. Or down at the floor at the grass growing. Look in the direction of the couple and look happy. Because I’m shooting wide shots that include you- so if every shot is of you admiring the shade of green of the grass?? It just looks bad.
8. For group shots, if you are a family member of one couple’s, know the group shot list ahead of time. And be prepared to wrangle some people up for group shots. I may have a list, but I have never met Aunt Judy before. So any help I can get will make things move faster. And you want those group shots to move fast, don’t you? No one likes those.
9. If someone hasn’t brought the couple some yummy appetizers or glasses of water, grab a waiter and ask if the couple will be getting some because they are most likely being swarmed by family/friends and aren’t thinking about those things. Making sure they are well fed and hydrated makes for a happy couple and a couple ready for the dance floor.
10. Dancing can sometimes be an instant, full-on dance floor. But other times? No one wants to get up. And the couple wants to dance. You can see it in their eyes they can’t wait for all their friends to enjoy themselves. Be the first. Be brave. Go out and dance on that empty dance floor. More people will join you and that dance floor will fill up. And even though everyone might forget who started dancing and made the wedding a hit- you’ll know you took one for the team and helped out.
11. Toasts. Oh boy. Some people love to get up there and talk while others would rather skip the whole thing together. But if you have been asked to toast, prepare prepare prepare. Write your speech. Time it. Have a few friends read it. The key is to keep in under 4 minutes and keep it funny/happy/meaningful not just to the couple but to all the guests. And if you haven’t been asked to give a speech and you want to? Pipe up before the wedding so the timeline can be adjusted. I have seen toasts that were scheduled for 15 minutes go on for 40 minutes because some extra people decided to give toasts. The guests were waiting for food. They were super duper cranky from being hungry. The couple look anxious because they loved the speeches but had to be out of the venue by 10pm or get charged a couple hundred extra dollars. And the caterer looked like he was going to pull his hair out.

So the bottom line is, as you’re interviewing Officiants or talking with your childhood Rabbi/Pastor/Etc, bring up photography in the very first meeting. If your ceremony images are important to you, express that to your Officiant. Ask if they have any restrictions on photography and let them know you’ll want them in writing, so everyone is clear before you sign a contract or officially ask them to officiate your wedding. Often, an Officiant will assume a certain photography act is not ok, that everyone knows that, and not mention it to the couple. So here’s a few common restrictions I have encountered that you should mention to your Officiant:

• Most Officiants will not allow flash. This doesn’t present an issue when your having an outdoor, afternoon ceremony. However, if your having it in a church/inside/reception hall, close to sunset or after sunset this may present a problem. Having done dozens of wedding ceremonies without flash, we can discuss the best way to work around this.
• Some Officiants have strict rules on where photographers can shoot. Some refuse to let anyone past the back pews. Some are ok as long as I’m not in the aisle. Some just don’t want me running up and taking a shot 5 inches from the couple’s faces (uhh…ya, I get that restriction). So talk to your Officiant, look at your ceremony location (if the Officiant says it’s ok to go around the sides but your squeezing your ceremony chairs in so tight I would have to long jump over guests heads, then I’m stuck taking photos from the back) to make sure all the restrictions make sense, and talk to me.
• Some Officiants are super duper strict. As in, “You get to shoot standing from that one spot, you can’t move, and if you do, I’ll stop the ceremony- I have done it 3 times” (yes, that was real). Remember, my goal is to be as unobtrusive as possible. I want to blend in. I’m not doing hand stands in your aisle. So if your Officiant is nervous about me going crazy, cause they have seen it before, feel free to have them give me a call.
• Any restriction placed on your ceremony photography is something we should discuss months before your actual wedding to explore all the options and have time to do anything extra.
• Also, any concerns your Officiant has with photography should also be translated to the guests. I can’t tell you how many times I have walked up to a Officiant, who has told the couple no flash photography, and mentioned that they should make a quick announcement about no flash photography only for them to look at me and say, “You think people will take pictures?!?!”. Uh, ya. A lot of them. And they get upset if the guests start flashing away with their cameras because no one told the guests anything. I have seen ceremonies stop because of this, and the Officiant ask them to stop taking photos. No one wants that situation. Which is why everyone needs to know what the restrictions are and everyone can enjoy the ceremony.

So you have a good general idea of getting ready timeline and a breakdown of why your getting ready location is super important for good pictures, now let’s break down things a little bit further as to what goes into getting ready for your wedding day and what you need to know.

• The less you have to travel, the better. Things that wouldn’t normally be a big deal, other than an inconvenience, like your taxi not finding you, or moving tons of makeup/dresses/shoes, or traffic jams become much bigger deals on your wedding day because you have a timeline- oh ya, and a ceremony to get to. The more times you move, the bigger the hassle and the more likely you are to forget something important like rings, vows, your wedding shoes, etc. So if you can have hair and makeup come to you, all the better. Getting ready at your venue because they have a sun filled getting ready room? Grab that sucker and don’t let go. Your sanity and timeline will thank you.
• Don’t discount getting ready together. The reason I highly recommend first looks is because 1. you get waaay better pictures of the two of you seeing each other for the first time BUT 2. It also really relieves stress. Because no matter how you cut it, getting ready can be a bit stressful. Maybe your worried the dress won’t fit. Or your mom got lipstick on your suit. Or your just freakin’ nervous. Getting ready together makes for amazing pictures and is a big stress reducer. You have your partner in crime and wedding with you the whole day. So before you brush it off, think about it. I did it!!

• Have whatever is super meaningful to you all collected. Put your an attendant in charge of rings, bouquet, dress, shoes, suit, veil, something your wearing from your family all in one spot so I’m not like “Hey…sooo…where are the rings?” as you’re getting your false eyelashes done and can’t see anything.
• I already talked about how important it is to have a getting ready location that’s fab, but once your in the room full of space, light, and it’s free of clutter- make sure you can get a good spot next to the window where I’ll be taking the photos of you getting dressed. So if we have to move some furniture? Let’s do it!

• Make sure your attendants are ready at least 10 minutes before you need to get dressed. Sometimes you need their helping hand to steady yourself as you put on shoes or sometimes you need an adjustment to your vest. Whatever it is, make sure you have them ready and able to help and not be caught alone. They can wash their hands of any makeup, product, etc and be ready to really help you. Because that moment after you get your wedding attire on? It’s pretty ‘woooah’ which turns into ‘omg, everyone is around me and helping me….this is amazing. They are amazing!’ and everyone smiles and it’s time to get excited. Give yourselves that happy moment. It’s worth it.

So having a precise and accurate timeline of your reception is just as critical as before your ceremony. Having a specific window of time for people to give toasts ensures I’m not eating on the opposite end of the room, charging equipment and suddenly the best man stands up to give his speech- which makes me, mouth full, semi-choke down my food, grab my equipment and try to get a few good shots. The point is, I want to have as much info and heads up as I can. The point of my job is to grab the unexpected, wonderful moments. And I will. But having a detailed timeline of the reception ensures I’m where I’m supposed to be, when I’m supposed to be there. I know when I have a few minutes to take detail shots. Or I can afford to run outside and take pictures of the exit car your friend’s decorated.

Now let’s go from the ceremony on:

• 5:30- Ceremony ends. Couple exits with ribbon wands or bubbles or rice or petals or whatever. Remember, hold the kiss or better, kiss twice!
• 5:32- Have a specific place you arranged ahead of time to go and soak in the fact your married for 5 minutes. It will just be you two and me waaay in the background.
• 5:37- Sunset couple shots. Perfect light = mouth watering photos (adjust this time based on time of year)
• 5:35- Cocktail hour begins
• 5:50- Couple goes to cocktail hour
• 5:50- I’m getting reception detail shots. Please ask your caterer for this time to have no wait staff in the reception room for the ability to have a few minutes to get wide, whole room shots with no one in the background.
• 6:20- Guests directed to the reception room. *If you are having the cocktail hour in the same room as the reception or not having a cocktail hour, we need to make sure there is enough time for me to get detail shots before the guests arrive and put down dirty glasses, napkins, coats, etc
• 6:30- Couple either is announced or is already at reception
• 6:30- First course served or buffet opens. If you plan on having toasts during dinner or right after dinner ends, please make sure the caterer knows this and serves my meal with the first table. Often times they serve the vendors last which leaves me scrambling and stressed to scarf down dinner or not eat to get the toasts.
• 7:30- Toasts. Remind your toasters (is that a word?) that they should practice their speech ahead of time so they know how long it will be
• 7:40- First Dance/Parent Dances
• 8:30- Cake cutting/Dessert
• 8:35- More dancing!
• 9:30- Last dance
• 9:40- Couple/Guests exit
• 9:40-10:40- Caterer cleans up